i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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