I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Randomize
