come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
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