I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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