careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
