I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
we're so committed to being not committed
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
