before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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