Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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