haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
i think im in europe. pls send help
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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