Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Randomize
