She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
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Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
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on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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