I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Sext me about skeletons
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
