it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
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There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
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I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
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