well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
