how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
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