That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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