life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize
