btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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