yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
My nipple is on Facebook.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Randomize
