Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I need a beard to bite.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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