did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
