Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize