im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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