Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
It's Friday. Sex?
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
