i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Randomize
