I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Randomize
