May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
It was confusing and full of hummus
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize
