just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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