My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
