when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
