I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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