...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
