After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
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I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
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I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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