I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize