My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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