No stitches, just platelets and will power
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
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