Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
