so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
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