yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize