so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
