Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Randomize
