Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
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