your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
