I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize