The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
