2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
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