is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize