What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
We don't watch enough power rangers
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
