I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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