D3 body, D1 cock
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
