so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Is it penis luge time yet?
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
