i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
