you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
