i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
