Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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