brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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