I can tuck mytits in my pants
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
