He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I got inside last night via doggy door
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize