I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
