I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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